Teenage Parenting

Holiday in Santorini with the family

2010-12-10T01:50:00.000-08:00

http://As a way of thanking my teens for doing well in school last year and as a motive for them to strive for the best in 2011, I have promised the family a vacation which will take us to the Greek island of Santorini. I have found a great hotel for us to stay.

Santorini is an island that was created from a volcano and is said to have the best sunset you can find anywhere. It is a busy place but not too over the top in terms of crazy activity. The ideal place for our family to spend a relaxing and fun couple of weeks this summer!

Parenting

2010-06-09T05:50:00.000-07:00

Parenting isn’t easy and as we stated in previous posts, being the parent of a teenager is challenging and requires a set of skills to help you do your best. A connection needs to be established with the teenager, even if at times you may feel that an adolescent may be shutting you out. In this post, we will be looking at some of the things you can do to approach your teen and to keep your lines of communication open, so that you can make a positive impact on their development.

It often helps if parents can show an interest in what their teen seems to be involved in. With parents’ lives already being stressful and with free time being restricted, this doesn’t mean that you have to go out and learn a foreign language or become immersed in the latest video game fad. Rather you can have a talk with your teenager about the music they listen to or set aside time to watch a movie that they like or have been wanting to see at the theater. It’s important not to be judgmental, for example to comment negatively on a band they like, but instead have some light conversation with them.

Another way to relate to your teenager is to have a talk about your past experiences. If they are in a situation that is puzzling them or which they are experiencing for the first time, it can be helpful for an adolescent to know that you have been through it and have a suggestion or two they could follow. Again, it is important not to be dogmatic but to tell your experience in a way that can help them and is not pressuring them to take the same action as you would have. Good parenting involves steering your teenager in the right direction without actually taking the wheel from their hands.

Be sure to let your adolescent know when you are wrong. It is only natural that you show your fallible side just as you expect them to be honest and to admit when they have made a mistake. This alone goes a long way in strengthening communication channels and your bond. Also, always make it a point to tell your teenager that you love them and are there for them. Sometimes this is greeted with an awkward brush-off, but that is only because teens want to be “cool” on the surface. All teenagers need to know that they are loved and they will appreciate it.

While it is important that you establish good communication with your teenager, it is equally important to have rules which are to be followed. If you can relay them without too much of an authoritarian or strict way, your teen will appreciate the fact that you are caring enough to make rules for them; rules that are there to protect them and to guide them. With parenting, it’s not how hard you work but how smart you work.

Parenting Styles

2010-06-08T14:55:00.000-07:00

Parenting style is very important in your teenager’s development. Having the ability to adapt to an adolescent’s needs and being responsive to them while being able to set clearcut rules is vital for a parent. With that is mind, here are some parenting styles that arise based on the parent’s behavior:

Authoritarian – Oftentimes, parents can implement a vary strict and oppressive way of parenting. It’s the parent’s way or the highway and the rules are so firm that punishment accompanies a potential breaking of these rules. Teenagers are expected to follow rules without question. This sort of parenting style is more prevalent in societies where there a is a strict structure and people are to follow the norm without straying from it. This parenting style can create a young adult that doesn’t have a mind of his or her own and can foster insecurities and other behavioral problems in an adolescent.

Assertive – In this parenting style, the parent sets clear rules without the use of excessive punishment. Teenagers are required to be responsible for their actions and discipline is a matter of accountability for one’s own behavior. Children of assertive parents adapt well to different social settings and are good at collaboration with others.

Permissive – The parent allows the teenager to act as they please without requiring responsible behavior. Parents that employ this parenting style are often seeking to avoid confrontation with their children. Teenagers with permissive parents are often creative but as a drawback do not accept responsibility and this may show in their behavior and personality.

Uninvolved – A parenting style which is not much of a parenting style at all. This entails remaining distant from the teenager’s development altogether and can be seen as downright neglect or bordering on abandonment. It would take a peculiar set of parents or teenagers or both in order to be able to successfully raise a motivated and productive adolescent with this style. In general, it is shown that teenagers whose parents are uninvolved do not perform well in school.

It is common for most parents to incorporate some or all of these parenting styles in their approach. There isn’t necessarily a right or a wrong way to raise your teen. It is important, however, to guage what each teenager responds best to under different circumstances. Keeping a balance and not becoming either oppressive or indifferent altogether is where the key lies to raising your teen. What parenting style do you normally use?

Positive Parenting

2010-06-07T14:04:00.000-07:00

Positive parenting can be very challenging in today’s world. Parents have their jobs (often two jobs or more) along with the stress and pressures of a hostile economic environment and many outside factors making their role as parents all the more difficult.

Teenagers can be very difficult to deal with at times and their behavior can range from stressful for the parent, to downright provocative. We need to gain a better understanding of adolescent developmental stages in order to fully comprehend teenage behavior and to be able to accept it for what it is; that is a stage in their personal development rather than an attack on the parent. If parents can understand this, they maximize their ability to help teenagers establish their personal identity and values.

This transitional period is a time when the teenager is preparing to separate from the family while developing their own values. The change must be initiated by the teens themselves and oftentimes what we consider as teenage rebellion is the drive for them to do it. Parents must accept that teenagers cannot undergo this process in isolation, but rather through engaging in conflict can this transition come about.

The rebellious behavior we may see as being a “rebel without a cause” is defiance that shows the need for self-reliance and is a test of parental caring. This can be expressed by rude language or mocking of the parent. If we add the hormonal changes that a teenager is undergoing, we see “symptoms” such as heightened sensitivity, mood swings, and an increase in physical activity.

Positive parenting is as important as ever as teens are beginning to see the opposite sex under a whole new light. Relationships with their peers or romantic relationships may cause teenagers to experience new and intense feelings and it is important not to suppress the need to express them. Parents may see that adolescents have a greater need for their personal space and privacy as many of the new feelings and experiences they are living can cause them to shy away from sharing them with the parent.

Teenagers feel like they know everything and at the same time have a sense of weakness and possibly of inadequacy. That is why it is important to have an adult they can relate to and seek advice from, but in an entirely different way than they have up until now. As parents, we have been used to being protective of children and talking to them in a certain way. During this important time in their development, it is essential that parents learn to adapt to the new role that they must undertake. It is this understanding of where teenage behavior comes from, that gives parents the tools to be helpers rather than antagonists in adolescent development. Positive parenting is all about knowing and understanding what makes your teen tick.

Welcome to the Teenage Parenting Blog

2010-06-07T07:00:00.000-07:00

Thank you for joining us on our journey of parental enlightenment. The Teenage Parenting blog's objective is to provide the parents of teenagers with the necessary tools they must have to successfully raise their children through the tumultuous teenage years; a period in everyone's life that is essential in forming character and becoming productive, successful, loving, driven adults. Being the parent of a teenager is not easy, and here at the Teenage Parenting blog, we understand this and hope to give you a helping hand.

We must say as a disclaimer that the parenting of teenagers is very important and the advice of a professional should be sought out if a parent feels completely helpless. Our goal here is to provide insight and to share tips on the workings of teenage parenting.